


Too Much

by SparkleDragons



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast), taz: commitment, the adventure zone: commitment
Genre: (similar to an anxiety attack), ADHD, Comforting, Sensory Overload, idk guys this is pretty much just me self-projecting on a character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 14:03:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12608256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkleDragons/pseuds/SparkleDragons
Summary: I project my problems on Remy during his American Ninja Warrior failure.





	Too Much

This was a mistake. This was a mistake. This was a mistake.

Remy closes his eyes and desperately tries to center himself. Stop breathing so heavily you’ll pass out. Calm down. He shifts a bit from side to side. His fists are clenched firmly at his sides, just the feeling of sweat in his palms starting to send chills up his arms.

Don’t cover your ears. Don’t look weird on live television. You can do this. It’s just some noise. Just some lights. Focus on the course. Just like the gym.

That’s a lie. This is NOTHING like the gym. They gym is quiet and small. The lights in the gym are that sort of dim that makes you so nice and relaxed but not so much that you fall asleep. Here though? Remy cracks an eye open, only to immediately shut it again, his breath quickening further. It’s just too bright. Too bright. Too bright. Make it go away. Please make it go away.

In the gym the only sound is his music and the occasional encouragement from his brother. Here though? There is no way to block out the noise. Too loud too loud too loud too bright too much too much tOO MUCH TOO MUCH.

Remy takes a deep, shaky breath. It’s ok. It’s ok. It’s ok. Don’t cry. Don’t cry on television. Stop moving your fists to your ears. You can’t just stop functioning here. You have to do this. You’re brother’s counting on you. The gym is counting on you. You’re an olympic athlete. Sort of. Except you never made it there. Not really.

But it’s too loud and when he forces his eyes open it’s too fucking bright and are his cloths on right, they don’t feel right. God the smell of sweat is strong. Is that you? Make it go away.

Noise. It takes Remy a second to realize that sudden, jarring noise that startled him enough to shout was the starting buzzer.

Go. Go now. Do it. But it’s too much and too loud and too bright and and and And he’s moving. He’s moving towards the first platform. Good. Do that. You can do this.

He goes to jump. It’s gonna be ok. Once you get going maybe the sounds and the lights and the feeling of your cloths on your skin won’t be so bad. And god will everyone just SHUT UP. Remy shuts his eyes.

And then he hits the water. The water is nice, if jarring. The feeling of being engulfed in cold is horrible but at least the sound is muffled here. At least the lights are a bit more blurred and here he can close his eyes and not be weird. He makes his way on instinct to the surface and takes a massive gulp of air, before the fast breathing sets in again.

How can people ever handle something like this. It’s too much too much too much. Remy finds he’s instinctually made his way to the edge of the water. His brother is there. His brother doesn’t touch him.

“Come on man. Let’s get you dried off,” he says quietly, just loud enough to be heard.

Remy follows his brother at a slow stumble, using the guise of drying off to cover the ears as much as he can. He might be starting to cry. Unless that’s just water from the pool. Either way his eyes feel red. Remy finds himself led to a dark room. His brother must have turned the lights off.

Remy works his way to one of the walls and sits down, covering his ears with his fits. His brother sits in a chair a bit away and waits, patient as always.

Slowly his breathing slows. Slowly the muffled sounds of the crowds outside start to be more manageable. Slowly, Remy feels like he can open his eyes without wanting to die.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, just loud enough to be heard.

“It’s ok.”

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

“I let you down. I let the gym down.”

“You didn’t let anyone down. You did what you could. That’s what matters. The gym will be fine.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. It’s ok.”

The two of them stay in the room for the rest of the show, lights off. They go back out only when they have to.


End file.
